Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Apple, putting the cock in cocky...

Well, today Apple had another announcement. All the Apple fanboys and a lot of us regular people got excited about what could be so great that Apple needed another mysterious conference. We watched and waited. And when it was over, we all sat there, stunned. But not because Apple actually brought out something amazing, but because they got a little too cocky for their own good.

Things that we were expecting:
-New video iPod
-Tablet Mac
-New Intel boxes

Things we got:
-New Intel box
-iPod boombox
-A leather sleeve


I will admit it, the new Mac Mini is hot. It's a pretty worthwhile thing to make an announcement about, but it doesn't nessecitate an event like this.

The iPod Hi-Fi is a huge boombox that puts your ipod up on top like a little phallis. Steve Jobs touted it as a replacement for your home stereo. He went as far as to say he's getting rid of his home stereo for this. Wait. It's a boombox. It's physically impossible to get good stereo separation from something with its speakers so close together, while keeping acoustic accuracy for differing room types. But he insists it's for audiophiles. Maybe as an expensive joke? Maybe he was tripping on acid during the presentation. We will never know, but we do know that he's wrong, and this silly system will not replace a good home stereo, and it's too big and heavy for real portability.

Apple's latest iPod acessory is $99. No, it's not anything electronic, it's a leather sleeve. Yes, it's $99 for a strip of nice, soft leather. Sure, it covers up your controls and really isn't terribly stylish, but someone thought it deserved a price tag much higher than any reasonable person would ever pay. There are many alternatives out there. Why would Jobs agree to sell this product? How could he have any self respect and go out there and say buy this?

Steve Jobs is cocky. He's always been cocky, but recently he's really gone into new territories of cockfulness. I mean, cockiness. Even the fanboys saw the Apple iThong they're selling and said, hey, this is too much. People are reporting Apple's stock fell immediately after the announcements. Oops.

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