Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Apple, putting the cock in cocky...

Well, today Apple had another announcement. All the Apple fanboys and a lot of us regular people got excited about what could be so great that Apple needed another mysterious conference. We watched and waited. And when it was over, we all sat there, stunned. But not because Apple actually brought out something amazing, but because they got a little too cocky for their own good.

Things that we were expecting:
-New video iPod
-Tablet Mac
-New Intel boxes

Things we got:
-New Intel box
-iPod boombox
-A leather sleeve

I will admit it, the new Mac Mini is hot. It's a pretty worthwhile thing to make an announcement about, but it doesn't nessecitate an event like this.

The iPod Hi-Fi is a huge boombox that puts your ipod up on top like a little phallis. Steve Jobs touted it as a replacement for your home stereo. He went as far as to say he's getting rid of his home stereo for this. Wait. It's a boombox. It's physically impossible to get good stereo separation from something with its speakers so close together, while keeping acoustic accuracy for differing room types. But he insists it's for audiophiles. Maybe as an expensive joke? Maybe he was tripping on acid during the presentation. We will never know, but we do know that he's wrong, and this silly system will not replace a good home stereo, and it's too big and heavy for real portability.

Apple's latest iPod acessory is $99. No, it's not anything electronic, it's a leather sleeve. Yes, it's $99 for a strip of nice, soft leather. Sure, it covers up your controls and really isn't terribly stylish, but someone thought it deserved a price tag much higher than any reasonable person would ever pay. There are many alternatives out there. Why would Jobs agree to sell this product? How could he have any self respect and go out there and say buy this?

Steve Jobs is cocky. He's always been cocky, but recently he's really gone into new territories of cockfulness. I mean, cockiness. Even the fanboys saw the Apple iThong they're selling and said, hey, this is too much. People are reporting Apple's stock fell immediately after the announcements. Oops.

Monday, February 27, 2006

News Flash: Microsoft Does Something, People Gripe!

Hey everybody, it seems that Microsoft has released the lineup for their new OS, Vista. We've got 8 "flavours." People everywhere are griping about how Microsoft is ripping people off and confusing customers with all of these different editions. So you know what I'm talking about, here's a rundown of the 8 editions:

The ones that most people will ignore:
1. Windows Starter 2007 - for developing nations, I'm not kidding.
2. Windows Vista Home Basic N - "N" edition is for Europe, doesn't have media player. Sales of XP N edition have proven that no one will buy this.
3. Windows Vista Business N - see above, but for businesses.

The ones businesses will want:
4. Windows Vista Business - Has usual array of configuration and permissions tools for businesses
5. Windows Vista Enterprise - Like business, but has fancy things like encryption and UNIX app compatibility.

The ones that real, actual consumers will care a about:
6. Windows Vista Home Basic - A trimmed down version for people who want the upgrade, but don't have lot of money or a fancy computer.
7. Windows Vista Home Premium - All the fancy bits that the majority of people who will care about upgrading will want, including media center and tablet functionality.
8. Windows Vista Ultimate - This is everything in one. It's got all the fancy bits from all the different editions we care about (though I'm unsure if the Enterprise parts will be there).

As you can see, there's only 3 editions that people will even bother to look at. Now, your average consumer doesn't bother actually upgrading their OS: they buy a new computer. I can see 90% of new computers being shipping with Home Premium, since it'll have the new Aero interface everyone is so excited about. Customers won't have to choose, it'll just be there. For those who want to upgrade, their choices really aren't any different than they are now. For some, they will actually have an easier time choosing.

To explain, here's what Microsoft currenty offers for people:

Windows XP Home
Windows XP Media Center Edition
Windows XP Tablet Edition
Windows XP Professional

Wait, is that FOUR?! So it is. And to make matters worse, if you desire the Media Center functionality, you would currently have to sacrifice the luxuries of Professional edition. Microsoft has combined MCE and Tablet into their Vista Home Premium edition, and if you want to add Pro features to it, you get Vista Ultimate.

So now consumers' decisions are clear: do they care about Media Center functionality or tablet functionality? If not, buy Home Basic. Do they care about having fancy permissions and remote entry to their computer? If not, buy Home Premium. If they want it all, just buy Ultimate.

Why is everyone griping?

Maybe I should "masturbate" more often...

It's been a long while since I last posted here, but you didn't miss out on anything. I could have told you all about how I worked a lot a couple of weeks ago, or how I had dinner out a few times, but really, no one wants to hear about that.

However, I'm hoping to add to this blog more frequently by discussing - or more likely yammering - about my views on what's going on in the world. ...at least the stuff that I find important.

Yeah, look out for more masturbatory ramblings on technology.